haizz.. my projects are going to end...soon.. real soon.. haha... actually after today econs presentation i veri happi le.. lolz... then we dismissed early. yali and i wanna go tm and catch the movie, my girl.. but before that, we went to the opposite of tp to buy bubble tea.. not nice.. i don't like it.. it is way too sweet. and ok, so we took 291 to tampines.. kaozz.. the route is like so long! i will never take 291 again.

and we went to check the time slot for my girl. and thankz ah, the show is at 7pm. then we cannot decide what show to watch as the show is too late. we think and think. then we bth liao, we tossed a coin and it said DON'T watch so we went to shop. and ate teppanyaki. it was not cook by the guy who serve us last time. haiz. he was having his dinner i think. abit disappointed lah. but nvm..

i really enjoyed myself.. cool man.. then wear to isetan and shop for yali's niece clothes.. the clothes are sooo cute! and yali was like saying her head cannot fit in, must get bigger size.. lolz.. then after that, we went walk walk again. don't want to go home so early mah. nowadays i will try all my means to stay out from home. don't ask me y. those who have been reading my blog should know why...

and the guy i really admire, he already likes someone le... and is also in my course... why.... haizz.. why like that de.. those i like one, after one two week heard he got like someone, then after a few more weeks, stead liao.. haiz. what is this?? i think he also will be the same case. haiz. and the worst is, after today, then i realize that i had really fallen for him.... he did something that i made me realize my feelings. haiz. but like what you all always said, what is yours, will eventually be yours. haizz.. but i just can't help it lor. sianz..

tomorrow april fool day.. so guys.. don't get trick by friends k..



♥9:37 PM..Love
some pics i took today...

tien tien and i


yali and i


liting and i


my classmates..


me..



♥11:51 PM..Love
hohoho... my presentation is OVER!! haha... but tomorrow got econs one lah.. sick.. present and present.. and i didn't screw up my presentation! heng ah... cos i intent to memorize yesterday nite de.. but.. haizz.. my parents quarreled.. it really affects me lor.. and today i have to put on a smile on my face. don't want to vent it on my friends again. but when yali asked me what happened, i nearly cried. cried because i was angry or was it because i was upset?? i don't know.. they kept quarreling.. since i was born.. so sick! and my brother was like trying to stop them, but end up quarreling with my dad.. haizz... and damn it, it was all my dad fault! i really hate him sometimes, bring home nothing but troubles!!!! i really don't know why i got a dad like that. first thing he came home, he said, i fell down.. but nvm, havent die yet.. i really wondering, why not die?? i knew i sounded abit cruel and unfilial, but if he really care about all of us, i will not say that. maybe his death can help us in certain ways?? maybe. maybe all the debts will be cleared. he just came home and nag and nag. always complaining about no money, he think i got ah?? tell me for what sia, it will just make me more fan de lor! and he was like telling me that my younger brother seems to have problems.. he always do his homework until veri veri late(2 to 3am).. he asked me to go find a counsellor and counsel him... ridiculous!!! is like, it is not that i didn't talk to him about it before, and not that i didn't nag at him before! but he just won't listen! it just pissed me off! why is it always my responsibility to take care of him, why always blame it on me and my elder bro for not caring about him?? i really don't know why. it should be the parents who are responsible! why he don't want to say himself??? is like, i am not at home most of the time, especially nowadays.. projects and everything. as if i am not stress and i don't have my problems! can't they just understand??? i really shouldn't go home early yesterday. it is the only day i am home so early and this had to happened! fed up... everything will be fine if they didn't get marry. it is okay, i don't want to be in this world anyway.


♥4:47 PM..Love
went to buy a blue shirt just now. sianzz.. tomorrow got presentation and i am very very nervous.. i also don't know why.. sick man.. hate this feeling... i have to memorize my speech later.. then that min, say wanna meet me then called off.. haizz.. nvm... i went there with my friends. they brought black.. then after buying i wanted the black.. sianzz.. but don't know leh.. presentation can wear all black meh?? haizz.. i don't wanna wear black and white le.. sianzz.. i scare very ugly.. haizz.. bu zhi dao lah.. fan si le.. and i kinda offend my friend today.. haizz.. and i saw zhen.. the stupid ultra supplies so crowded... people mountain people sea.. haizz... k lah.. i go and cool myself down.. *nervous*
♥8:25 PM..Love
watched channel u jus now. it was about the wedding of darren and evelyn. i was touched. felt like getting marry soon... haha.. but can't lah, no people wan me... marry to myself ah?? haha... but it was nice. lots of people will send you their best wishes... the feeling is really good. but come to think of it, getting married and all the fun is just for one day.. what will happen after the ceremony? everything will quiet down and you will still be an ordinary person. haha.. don't know lah, confused by myself also..

argh... i am sooo tired..... like don't know how many didn't sleep sia. and my dark rings are out and swollen. shit man. tonight i will sleep early even though my brother will not be at home.. he going to his friend's house to watch soccer.. MAN U vs ARSENAL... and my brother bet with his friend man u will win... lolz... i think yali will be glad to hear this... haha... i am going to sleep for as long as i can later. i don't care whether i got school tomorrow. just wanna rest till the fullest. already switched off all alarm clocks and told my mum not to wake me up tomorrow... haha... but i know, i will still wake up just in time for school de.. automatic de.. sianzz... -__-
♥9:33 PM..Love
the accounting project is not really really not meant to be done... haaha... started working on it from 2pm to 840pm... really crazy... wanna go buy bag also cannot.. no time... haizz.. and finally we finished it!! but we could not balance it. shit man... but expected. those who can balance it, i will bai you all. but anyway, i am glad that i am doing it with caiyu, yali and liting... we seems to be laughing and enjoying ourselves although we were stressed. i saw a lot of groups in school today. all rushing the project. this project is really too much for us to handle, is liked the source documents are in a whole book! and there were soo many parts for us to do. the project only stands 5%! so little and we had to do like mad.. but anyway, we were talking and laughing while doing it, the other groups were quite stressed about it.. and they really showed it on their face.. got this 'don't disturb me' look.. fierce leh.. but i knew, all humans will be like that, so we are not humans!! ehehe... we also smuggle tibits into the library today and we were hiding here and there so that we would not be caught by the security guard again!! lolz.. and we were discussing how come at 8 something at night still got people go to other storeys de.. by life somemore. then we were wondering how would the 6th floor (tutors' rooms) be look like? haha.. then i went to the toilet. i was scared. haha.. at first still alright de.. then yali went to a cubicle where there was urine on the toilet bowl.. (disgusting lah) then she came out, then i went into the other one... i saw an insect walking ON the water! i shout lah... i am scare of insects.. then nvm, then yali came out of the other cubicle, the door could not be locked. then is like, i went to the next one, also could not lock!! then i scream liao! haha... then i quickly ran out.. haha... bth.. i had a phobia of toilets nowadays. especially after the eye2. bth... lolz...

and i watching the WWF bottom line and i saw the rock!! hehe... he is backed!! i waited this day for sooo long le... he still looks the same! still so fit... he really rockx man! one of my idols... for those who don't know, i am crazy about wrestling lah.. lolz.. cool man.... his style is still there....... yesh! so happi... hehe...
♥11:20 PM..Love
early saturday morning and here am in sch lab... didn't expect to see so many people here.. woah.... all crazy about projects and that includes me. haha. i was writing my CDS 1000 words essay this morning, and no matter how hard i tried to prolong the scenes, it is still last than 1000 words... argh.... first time troubled over writing an any topic essay... sianzz...

today is going to be a long day. meeting my group members at two to do accounting project. and we still left quite a bit... hope can finish it by today as monday has to hand in le.. this project is not meant for any human to do one.

WARNING: don't try doing this alone!!

haha.. i am crazy... nevermind about me...
♥11:46 AM..Love
just finished doing my access mock test... haiz... i am a complete computer idiot!! argh.. and i just read the powerpoint slides that viven, my choir chairman sent to the committee members, very meaningful.. describe how i am feeling for the past few weeks....

yah.. i am being voted to be the librarian of the choir.. (photocopy scores de) and at first, the five of us were not happy with our posts. not that we wanted other posts, but is don't want to be in the committee... it is stressful.... really.. but while we were discussing whether we wanna give up our post, i was touched when everyone vowed to stand by each other... help each other out.. i was touched... yes, i was worried about stress.. as a SL,i am stressed out... but after listening to each other's view, somehow i felt relieved to have them to stand by me.... maybe i think too much.. but... like what Ally said, try it out first...

The key to happiness is not that you never get upset, frustrated or irritated.
It is how quickly you decide to snap out of it.

True?? i don't know, maybe? perharps...
♥2:07 PM..Love
oh my god.... my school labs are full once again!! sianzz de... then now i book a comp in the library, if not i am going to rot sleeping sia... haha.. so boring... think of having cds later i sianz half le.. haiz... yali and caiyu have gone for their cds, meng si wo le..... haizz... projects are all coming to an end. after next week i will be free!! haizz... but still long lah.. have two continous days for presentations next week. sick.... and i have been neglecting my piano for days!! haizz... when can everything be back on track? i am sick of this type of life.

and yesterday the american idol was such a great disappointment! almost everyone was not putting in their best effort... haizz... jon is not in his best performance. i think something cropped up. everything was written on his face. jasmine also screwed up in her performance. she actually went flat...... sianzz... george huff was great! i like his song.. most of them can't do well for the country theme. haizz.. nevermind about that...

and i learnt a story, actually quite true lor.. is the story of the tortise and hare. they have a race and the hare lost, the hare lost because it stopped half way to rest and the moral of the story is that the tortise is consistent, remember? and i learnt this new story that detrieve from the story in my cds class (the art of retelling a fairy tale with a twist), is like, the hare kept running, leaving the tortise behind and reached the finishing line and thus it won, and the moral of the story was to be fast and consistent, so we must be like the hare, be consistent and do things fast in order to achieve our goals.

then the other story from this again was that, they changed the route to compete again, this time, the hare ran and ran until it came to a river, it can't get to the opposite side as it can't swim. and at this moment, the tortise came, and swim across the river when the hare was stuck there. this time, the tortise won. and the moral of the story is that we have to change strategies, be slow and steady in order to achieve a good result.

the other one is that, the tortise carried the hare over to the opposite side of the river and finished the race together. and the moral of the story is that, the best method to achieve is to have teamwork.

anyway, just to share with you all this long long story as it set me thinking whether i have to change the way i am now... maybe shan, you can try to get a new strategy on studying... haha...
♥2:32 PM..Love
finally found a girl who knows what is naruto... FINALLY.. and for those who don't know who or what is naruto, it is acomic character and a comic title called naruto. both of us are crazy about it. from her, i found out alot from her, and i am going to shop for naruto sovernirs instead of other essential stuff.. btw, she is liting... ya, ex damaian lai de...
i am fed up and pissed off by my friend. she treated us like shit. take everything for granted. keep asking me to help her find article for her. first thing she saw me is to ask me the same question. can't we just talk about something else??? she kinda stressed me up! it is NOT exactly my job to help her find the resources although we are in the same group. i will find if i wan to help, keep on asking will just pissed me off. i am kind enough to help her find the resources and she is not at least grateful! what does it pay to be kind? and i am sure that the next thing i give her the resources, she will ask me to analyse. if she is to do that, i will defintely ignore her. ask me to analyse might as well ask me to do for her. i am NOT good in my studies and i am afraid that i will analyse the wrong thing for her.just somehow i find her a free loafer sometimes. really really make me fed up today... so many things happen today..AHHHHHHH........................ feeling better....
♥9:28 PM..Love
who can define life? i really don't know.. it is sooo boring.. except that there are friends around me that makes me feels better. went for dinner with my choir friends just now. i didn't eat. throat is bad and is recovering sooo slowly. sianzz.. i miss business park chicken cuttlet, i miss mensa indian food.. suddenly i felt that food is so much better in school. i have been surviving on non-chilli stuff.. so sianzz... i miss my friends... don't know why.. i just kinda miss them... i just can't wait to go out with them.. but everyone is so busy with schoolwork and that include myself. sick of school, sick of life. so many projects waiting for me to do.don't enjoy them at all. and tomorrow has to present econs, sick.... just what exactly is life?? a torture??? maybe you all know the answer...
♥12:27 AM..Love
he was attached.. great... his gf also very pretty. really very compatible... anyway, projects and projects.. lots of them chasing after me..don't feel like blogging and nothing interesting happened. dah..
♥9:10 PM..Love
just read his blog.. so here am i, blogging again.. i was touched once again by it. don't know why.. suddenly i felt all the emotions coming.. does his blog really has such great impact on me? yah.. it does. maybe u all may think that i am crazy over him. but no, i see him differently from the one i really admire. he is really someone that i feel that he is so real and truthful. someone i can learn from. he ranks up my past and set me thinking of the future. seeing him and reading his blog has really motivates me a lot, a lot. i think, if people were to ask me who is my role model, i will definitely say, he is.
♥10:54 PM..Love
haizz... today is sooo sianzzz... i woke up at 8 am to do my tutorials. and my mum was like, huh? u asked me to wake you up so early to do hw ah? i am not trying to impress her, just that if i did not do my tutorials on weekend, i will not get the time to do on weekdays.. haizz.. but anyway, didn't manage to do finish them.. but at least i tried k.. lolz.. and everyone was asking me whether i dream of the eye 2.. aiyo.. stop reminding me people.. just that now when i go toilet i will not look up liao.. haha... and yesterday i was tired, and i just fell asleep like that lor.. haha.. heng ah.. and i just get this pic from zell.. so cute!! hahaa... and pls lah zell.. don't look like you k.. haha... jk lah.. don't cry k.. :p and yeah!! tomorrow i will get the cd from liting liao! hehe.. quick.. i wanna hear the songs.... naruto songs leh.. nice k... haha... dah...


♥10:31 PM..Love
went to school for the NE forum.. and the topic was environmental constraint. it was absolutely boring!!at first i was quite interested in the topic, but the way they arrange the schedule was like... argh!! make me lost all the interest.. and i was like reading magazines as i knew it will be boring.. we watched a video on killing the pilot whales. so OH MY GOD k... so disgusting.. people were hunting for them and many died in a pool of blood. so shitty...haizz... the people are really barbarians, wonder whether they got feelings or not sia.. but anyway, watched 15 to 20 minutes of the video then i fell asleep. hehe... and i slept for the whole video. haha..

then went to do project in the library.. haizz.. didn't really do much. is don't know how to do and not don't wanna do k..wonder whether can we finish the project on time. haizz.. hope can lah. and liting is going to burn for me naruto songs!! yeah.. we were turning up the volume of the discman so that i could hear. haha... and after that i took 518 to town.. it was like so fast lor! i didn't wait up to 15 minutes like the normal time i waited.. and the driver was driving so fast. should say he is skilled.. lolz.. and i just realised that 518 got go PS.. argh.. imagine i alighted at far east and took a bus from far east to PS.. argh...waste my $$.. haiz.

met shan at the bus stop then we walked in to meet zhen, quek and zell. luckily they brought the tickets earlier. there was a super long kill for buying the tickets.. heng ah.. and as usual, min was late. but we didn't miss any part of the movie lah. but the movie was scary! regretted watching it. just imagine that before the show start, i was hoping that the screen break down! ahaha.. several scenes in the show is not watchable de! ahaha... i was shocked and covered my eyes for most of the time.hehe, bo bian lah.. and that min was like pulling me and i was scared by him lor! haha.. jialat.. and that shan was like laughing at me.. oh my god.. i really hope what the movie said was not true and i don't wish to believe it. no way can a baby born with 'someone' always following the pregant woman and waiting to be tou tai when she was going into labour... but the story was quite true.. AHH... so scary lor.. and that's it, no more horror movie am i going to watch. this shall be the last time.

after the movie, i was stoned. and in fact, i stoned for the rest of the day. part of it was because i was scared by the movie and also, i was tired. we went to pasta mania for dinner, quite fun lor, cause shan min and quek tried to make zell feel guilty as we all waited for his food to come.. haha.. able to communicate with zell liao, he not that shy as he was during the first outing. we went shopping after eating. wanna buy something but don't know what to buy. most probably bag bah.. and that min brought so many things. even brought a pair of levis shoes. then went bag hunting for guek but to no avail. after a while, we went home. when were in the mrt, a guy who is wearing sleeveless tshirt, had hair under his arm pit.. yucks, bth.. if got muscles then like that nvm, but he is too skinny lah..
bth... and we touched on the topic pregancy.. what a topic.. but anyway, i was kinda shocked when i knew it. promise that i won't change the perception of that person..
♥11:42 PM..Love
haizz... jus finish presenting my mbs project... tutor dun really care how we present it.. heng ah.. cos i really lost my voice.. haha.. and everyone was like using the word sexy for it.. haha.. bth.. but on the way to recovery le lah... we just click click click onli wor.. haha... but anyway, it is OVER!! haha... going to meet shan later for lunch cum dinner later.. haizz.. tomorrow still haf to cum back for NE forum and project.. sianzz... all of us was like surfing net while others are presenting.. haha... like free period like that.. still can call shan to ask her something... then tutor say next week make up lesson by extending the lesson for one more hr!! haizz.... sianzz sia... cos of that good friday lah.. haha.. quick.. lesson faster over.. haizz...
♥2:33 PM..Love
watched american idol just now.. yeah.. all those whom i supported are in... felt abit sad for leah... but really she didn't put in her best when singing this time.. can see that she is not very happi.. moody. expected that she would be kick out also.. nvm..

after that, i watched the making of the eye 2.. surprised that i will watch it? haha.. i trying to get use to it as i will be watching the eye2 with shan.. and she didn't have to persude me to go... shocked? haha.. those who noe mi will noe i hate horror movies de... haizz... the last time i watch is the eye lor.. it really freak mi out.. after this the eye 2, no more k.. hope no the eye3.. haha... actually.. i also dunno why i will watch lor.. maybe is beccos too stressful then wanna distress... haizz... then gt watch part one, then now watch part two lor.. but after i watch the making of the show.. i abit regret saying i will go watch.. haizz... VERI scary... is like, i lower down the volume liao.. and i was still hiding behind my pillow.. jia lat.. jus imagine it is in cinema...argh.. gone case le.. sianz...
♥12:08 AM..Love
haizzz... jus now go see a doc liao.. gt mc!! hehe.. i long time nv haf mc le.. haha... like small kid like that.. nvm.. haha...now then i realize that sore throat gt so many different types de.. haha... and mine is so stupid! make me lost my voice.. can't even sing! argh... what the heck..haiz.. hope i will faster recover.. haizz..tomorrow still got mbs presentation lor! wan le... haizz... my voice changed to a male's voice.. haha.. and when i tok, strangers are like looking at me at a second glance.. bth.. haizz..

anyway, today business stats graded assignment.. dun think will do well.. can pass can le lah... lolz... haizz.. me still thinking whether ishould go back to sch for choir.. tired leh.. but today learn new songs... haizz.. see how lor...
♥5:40 PM..Love
argh.... today was really a terrible day... at first i was in great mood.. but be4 i start of the day with my lecture, he sms me.. and it kinda affect my mood.. dunno y lah... i didn't wanna leave a impression that he still got chance, but on the other hand, i dun wan to cut off my friendship with him.. haizz... dunno lah.. fan si le...

now so late le i still helping tien tien to find article for the project.. haizz.. from newspaper to online, just in the search of a stupid article.. just can't stand myself for trying so hard but in the end nothing come out... sick... i still gt lots of stuff waiting for me to do.. i spend like 3 hrs to find and in the end, i still end up having a SIA article again.. ZzZ.. i didn't even bath yet.. and letter haven't write finish, haven't read the comic that i have to return to liting tomorrow... argh.... no need to sleep tonite le... sianzzz...

and i can't quit my post... i told him the real reason why i wanna quit.. and the result was kinda of expected. albert said that he is not looking for someone who has pefect pitching.. not to be able to conduct.. he just need someone to be able to read notes... haizz.. but i still think i am not up to it... what he said sound easy to achieve.. but it is not.. haizz...

and today i finally saw him!!! i was happy!! and it has been months since i came so close to him.. he walked past me!! haha... but i don't dare to look at him lah... still so handsome... then i was so excited.. and when i turned back to look at him, he was drinking from the water cooler! hehe... so cool... hope he didn't notice how excited i was.. haha... eh.. if notice also nvm lah.. haha... and i was afraid to fall in love with someone... someone i know not long ago... not sure of my feelings... yali should know who i talking about rite... haha... better buried myself in projects.. haha.. don't think so much...
♥12:25 AM..Love
went to try this test which shan recommended... i also don't know true or not.. but i am sure i am not cut out to be a leader..lolz.. http://www.idealpartner.org.uk/ipbi/WhatJob.asp

Ki System

Natal Year number: 5
Although Junting at heart suffers from a sense of insecurity, she nevertheless portrays a confident yet sympathetic exterior to the outside world that enables her to get along well with other people. Indeed even though she is not really a team player, she is likely to reach a position of authority because she enjoys the strength of independent thought upon which others can rely.

Natal Month number: 8
Tenacious and stubborn, Junting is someone who works slowly and methodically to achieve success. Not the sort of individual to turn the world on fire, Junting is nonetheless a thoroughly reliable person whose careful approach to life brings steady reward. She is something of a perfectionist who can be counted upon to complete tasks without supervision.

Natal House number: 2
Believing in her own abilities, Junting's attention to detail will lead her to success through hard work and her own unaided efforts. She can however work well as a member of a team even though she will rarely, if ever, delegate responsibility without stringent conditions.

Comments based on Western Grid

111

Although Junting is often outgoing and chatty, she can at times be quite introspective. She may not of course see herself as an entertainer, but she nevertheless has all the qualities needed for the stage. She may seem shy on interview, but put her on a platform with an audience, and you will see the benefits that she can bring to any employment that demands such skills.

5

Well-balanced, with an understanding and compassionate nature, Junting is a natural leader who can inspire others. But she needs a certain amount of freedom at work and at home. With a compassionate and caring nature, and with the ability to get on well with others, Junting will be a strong member of any team and will provide solid inspiration and support to her colleagues.

6

Creative yet somewhat insecure, Junting is a family-orientated person who enjoys domestic responsibilities. She could well be employed in the hospitality industry - perhaps running a hotel, or B & B venture. In an office environment Junting will be valuable as the individual to whom others will turn for moral support. But home for Junting is where the heart is, and domestic responsibilities will always be important.

8

Good with details and with a methodical approach, Junting nevertheless is someone who enjoys constant new challenges to maintain her interest. She is a methodical individual with attention to detail, but is inclined to leave tasks unfinished if her active mind alights on something of greater interest. Routine tasks that fail to challenge her intellect are at greatest risk, so Junting needs a job that offers variety.

9

Ambitious to improve her lot, Junting will constantly push forward to achieve something in her life, yet this ambition will be balanced by humanitarian ideals that will lead her to support causes that may demand self-sacrifice.
[The Arrow of Determination: the numbers 1, 5 and 9] Determined and persistent, Junting has the patience to wait until she has achieved her goal. She enjoys a progressive and enterpreneurial approach, and as such, will be an asset to any employer. If the number 4 (in the Western Grid) is missing, she will be inclined to lose her temper on occasions.

Comments based on Chinese Grid

1

Junting will make some money and enjoy a reasonable standard of living.

3

Unless Junting also has in the Chinese version either the numbers 5 and 7, or the numbers 4 and 8, she will be hypersensitive and prone to stress-related problems.

4

Intelligent and logical, Junting is not someone who acts rashly on the spur of the moment.

6

Junting is family-orientated, and needs a pleasant working environment as well as a comfortable home.

8

In the absence (in the Chinese version) of the numbers 1 and 6, she will be good with money and details. She will be happier if the Chinese grid includes the numbers 5 and 7.

9

Although Junting is ambitious, her ambition is tempered with humanitarian ideals.
[The Arrow of the Planner: 3, 4 and 8] Junting has a cunning approach that borders on the unethical. She will flourish in those areas of business life that reap rewards from the misfortunes of others.
[The Arrow of Prosperity: The numbers 1, 6 and 8] Junting is suited to the commercial world because she is determined to make money - if necessary at the expense of all else. Without the numbers 3, 5 and 7 (in the Chinese version) Junting will be a cold and calculating individual who will achieve her aims with total disregard for the feelings of others.




♥10:17 PM..Love
yeah!! today i went sshopping with my mum.. hehe... i brought a pair of jeans and polo tee... then my mum was like asking me some bgr stuff.. was quite surprise lah.. nobody want me lah.. haha.. anyway, don't intent to blog down.. haha.. too paiseh le! then is like when we are in hang ten, my mum hit off well with this guy.. around my age one.. then she was like saying that he was not bad!oh my god.. he looks alright lah... but... don't know leh.. somehow i feel that she is having other motives by telling me that.. lolz...

the topic we had is like quite weird.. too weird le.. until now i still can't accept it... and yesterday he sms me again.. ZzzZ.. and some other things happen lah.. don't know lah.. shan say i too many tao hua le.. but really hor, i didn't make up any stories de... haizz.. bu zhi dao lah.. fan si ren.. haha... oh yah! i brought three pairs of shoes!! haha... crazy rite?? haha.. cos i can't make up my mind which one to buy.. then cheap lor.. is like $11 per pair.. then i brought lor.. but the clothes my mum pay de lah.. haha... and zhen is like telling me she saw a woman trying to commit suicide!! is like so dramatic.. at east coast... haha..is weekend lor, so many people there and she was trying to commit suicide... should be on weekdays mah.. lolz...

just read shan's blog.. i think she is hopping mad about this 'eraser' who tag on her tagboard! the person is crazy lor! siao! i suspect is someone from her class lor... that person don't dare to write his or her name lah... no guts then wanna comment! hate this type of people... tomorrow have to go school again... weekend past so fast... sianzz...
♥5:47 PM..Love
haizz..the performance finally over le... stressed... we went abit out of pitch... haizz.. but overall alright lah, it is definitely better then the concert... haha... don't know lah.. think so only... hehe..

then now i waiting for yali to come to school then do mbs project. didn't go with them (choir members) for lunch.. no time to finish the project liao... must rush... i don't want to come to school on monday to hand it in as my lesson is in the afternoon....i told pat and ally about my decision to step down, they said i was an idiot.. haha.. really? but i didn't regret what i did... i am one who cannot take stress de..

yeah... my younger brother went for camp.. without him, i will have more freedom.. haha.. but yah, he does help me in some ways if he is at home.. lolz... very hesitant in my thinking right? haizz.. thats me..

yali yali... faster come.. i am bored to death le.......
♥11:50 AM..Love
wow... today very tiring... very rush... when we finished having our lab tutorial, we went to look for lab to do our project.. and there was like a crowd outside the labs!! bth.. and all the computers were booked.. but luckily, we aasked meihui to book a comp for us le.. haizz.. stressed.. then do the project half way had to go for rehearsal for a performance tomororw.. then come back do abit of project then russh for piano... STRESS iss the word... haiz...haha.. just realissedd i am multi-tasked... talking on the phone, watching american idol.. lolz... the sshow is totally ccrazy!!!!! haha...... this will be the last timee i will see william hung on tv.. haha.. bth.. wonder why the contestants got the guts to go and sign up for it... please..... their voice can't make it.... hahahaha... but some of them improve le lah.. and i was like blogging at the same time, chatting in msn somemore.. hahaa.... finding pics for my access project.. haha... multi-tasked... haizz.. i don't think i will be touching any of my tutorials today.. i going to start tomororw... definitely... haizz...
♥10:29 PM..Love
now in lab.. waiting for my toot toot tutor to arrive.. lolz.. and the labs are full of people... scary... haizz... and today i saw a lot of people celebrating bday... so good sia.. so many people celebrating... haizz... and also, today is min's bday! HaPpI BdAe!! he sure enjoys his day de lah.. haha... he was dying to be 18!! haha.... dah...
♥1:04 PM..Love


wow!! my bro brought a sasuke figure.. sooo cute..... he said gave me!! hahaa... great.. actually i very bad mood now.. then he gave it to me.. so happy! hehe... haizz.. just came back from choir.. and today session was alright.. but anyway, i sms albert that i wanna stand down.. i don't know i will send this sms lor.. but alright lah.. sooner or later i will still tell him de.. just the matter of time.. he asked me to talk to him next week... actually i use the sms method as i don't know how to tell him face to face.. don't know leh.. even if i am not the SL, i will still go for choir practice de... that is for sure.. i love singing and that is me.. i just find that i don't have the potential to lead lor.. i really don't.

and anyway, i screwed up my cds presentation just now! i was tongue tied!! argh... and everybody was like laughing at me.. haiz.. so paiseh.. haizz... don't know lah.. i think i am getting useless.. sianzz... actually got alot of things to do.. but i lazy.. haizz.. sianzzz....
♥10:05 PM..Love
RAIN!! everyday rain rain rain.. rain until i no money to go home liao ah.. cos everyday must wake money to take feeder bus.. shit!! haven't top up my EZ link yet.. haizz... waiting for my cds to start again.... sooo sianzz.. i predict that it will be very boring and i am sure i will doze off de.. hahaha... then later got choir.. haizz.. don't know lah.. just realised that i keep having negative entries these few days.. paiseh guys! =)

i was a bit hyper today.. don't know why leh... and the most surprising thing is that i was able to tolerate cai yu today.. lolz... and i finally brought a new water bottle liao.. no need to use mineral water bottle le.. yeah! haha... and i brought a pair of earrings again.. haizz.. these few days keep spending money.. in school still can shop sia.. so many people selling accessories and clothes.. it is EVERYWHERE! haizz.. i think i am trying to distress by buying stuff and eating.. argh...... shall control my diet le.. These few days keep raining also cannot go jogging.. Wan view scenery also cannot liao.. sianzz...

and i just found out that there is a foot relaxology park.. lolz... but i doubt anyone will be using also lah.. so near to the mensa canteen, where got people dare go there and use de... but TP really did a great job in beautifying the school... they paid gardeners for keeping the grass short.. somemore the grass still got pattern de wor... great job!! but one thing i don't like is the stupid shelter!! built so high up there.. don't know for what sia.. when it was thunderstorm, everyone will be like trying to run across the other side.. haha.. cos it takes a long time to walk through the under pass.. anyway, why am i talking about it ah? weird.. nvm.. lolz...

going to rush my projects tomorrow.. hope mbs can finish real soon leh.... so sick of it liao.... haizzz... i think i am going to die during my online access test.. just like my online excel test.. i screwed up in my mock test.. lolz... but managed to memorize everything.. hope access i can do the same thing lor.. haha... so sianzz.. this comp don't have msn.. can't chat online.. and time past so fast.. haizz... cds lesson is coming le! -_-||| haha...
♥2:34 PM..Love
today another sianz day.. what to do.. everyone is moody.. and yah, me too.. got to write another essay for my cds.. haizz... sianzz si le... and yeah! today got do some of the stupid mbs project le.. it is so sianzz.. hope yali and i did the right thing lor... like lullaby like that... normally on comp i will be very awake de.. but jus now i keep yawning... and that stupid labs... bth.. so many people... not enough facilities for me to use lah... those who don't have laptops very jialat de..haizz... see caiyu so good.. go everywhere also can do de... and so pro.. bring laptop go everywhere.. gt music somemore.. haizz... when will i get mine? haizz.... what a day.. so tired... and i saw quite a few of my secondary classmates today.. so happi! saw quek on the way to sch! so qiao!! but is becos she late then i saw her de lah... she is always late.. =P i saw shuhui and ker... and i saw mervin and lingwei... long time never see them le...
♥9:42 PM..Love
haizz.. stressed... i really don't know what to do..talking to shan now.. discussing about a sickening friend of hers.. i hear le also angry.. and i was like complaining to her about my life.. sick.... is it poly life is like that? haizz.. today i saw him.. it had been two weeks since i last saw him.. kind of excited.. and something is bothering me.. something that i can't get it of my chest.. pls don't ask me what... i don't know.. very fan.... i find life meaningless... these few days my mood is really, really bad... but still trying to control my temper... my friends did not do me wrong...haizz... but sometimes i am so fake.. keep trying to put up a smile.. don't know what i am thinking about lah... fan si le.... and yah.. i pass my OB test.. and i somehow felt that there is a misunderstanding between me and my friends.. people change.. and their attitude towards me had change.. don't know what happen... had i did something wrong or annoyed them? i really don't know.. haizz...
♥9:56 PM..Love
haizz..stress stress stress!! haizz... today is such a bad day! nothing is right.. shit man... i hate my econs tutor! all those stupid newspaper articles fault!! argh.... shall not go into details... all the projects are suffocating me..... the stupid mbs cannot do... shit.. it is so difficult... stupid access.... argh..... and so many of my friends having problems with their bgr.. haizz... don't know how to help them also.. can only be a listener...

i am late for my tutorial today.. and everyone in my class is like so weird.. maybe it is because of monday blue.... haizz.. i don't blame them.. cos i also in a bad mood.. and i vent anger on my friends.. haizz.. sorry guys... i am just too stressed up... when mrs chia was talking about what we will be learning in year 2, i felt like breaking down.. indeed, i chosen the wrong course.. damn... it will be a tedious year ahead, and i am not looking forward to it... shit.
♥5:20 PM..Love
haizz.. how i wish i can go out with my friends everyday... kinda miss them now... miss the time we had, be it happy or sad.. still remembered that san always had to queue up at the walkway, quek always go toilet tidy her hair, zhen always sso quiet in class de.. (but now no le =X ) shan's righteousness.. think she never break school rules de lah.. then mummy and shu hui always burst out laughing suddenly de.. then min always never do hw.. gary always sleeping in class..still got others.. apple they all... but i had lost contact with some of them.. haizz.. so sad... how long will our friendship last? i ask myself this question.. i also don't know why i asked. i am afraid that they will just start to disappear from my life.. or it will just become those 'hi' and 'bye' friends.. don't know leh.. don't know why i think this way.. how i wish i am forever in my secondary school.. mixing with my friends.. suaning each other, thinking of where to go after school.. i realised that life is so much fun in my secondary school days.. no projects, not much stressed... haizz.. but true lah, if don't have them, then i also won't have fun le....just hope that i won't lost contact with some of them now lor... frEnZ 4evA!
♥8:59 AM..Love
one of my idols... hideaki takizawa.. shuai..






♥8:20 PM..Love
went to school in the morning.. mbs project sucks man! shit.. it is so difficult.. and oh my god! there will be an access online test.. shit... sure fail de lor... haizz... came back from jogging... whew... run the reservoir for 30 mins.. i break my record le.. yeah! and i saw the damai eagle.. had been months since i last saw it... still as beautiful as before.. nothing happened to day.. such a boring day.. life is getting colourless.. sianzz... dah...
♥7:35 PM..Love
went to meet min and shan just now... yeah! finally get the chance to go out with them and to destress... great! when i was with them, i just forget everything...it is true... everyone is having mood swing... they also having mood swing.. at first we were like strangers like that.. their mind was like at somewhere else and stoning away.. bth... then whatever we said was like in the wrong frequency sia.. wrong channel like that... then we kept suaning each other about age.. no need suan lah.. i am the youngest among u all lah..lolz...

but slowly we picked up from there lor... crapping all the way.. went to PS to buy my tuning fork..i saw grand pianos!! oh my god.. the yamaha there is really big.... cool.... then i see the price.. $23100...great, there goes my grand paino..haizz... haha... we went to eat fish and co.. treated min for dinner as his bday is coming..and i tried the fish platter for two.. two thumbs up.. everyone go and try! delicious! and min was like asking shan and i some funny questions.. is can't answer de lor.. lolz... and we played forfeit... and i was so suay de lor! i am the one who ended up drinking all the mango juice... bth... sooo sweet... they were so cruel... sob sob..

after that we went bowling.. long time never bowl le... arms now so pain.. anyway, the first game i beat them!! hehe... not bad wor.. i treated the pins like projects and everything... then really, it helps! haha... so i had a great game there! if everyday can like that good le.. but need $$ ah... ex... thankz min for treating! =)

then i called home to tell my bro i will be home late then he said don't come home lah.. then put down le.. wat the... is like finally i could get out of the house then he like saying i always go out liek that.. at that moment really don't feel like going home sia! but can't lah.. can't ask my friends to loiter with me rite??

then after that we went to fulllenton hotel there...we took a few pics.. then we walked to boat quay... sooo many clubs lor! bth.. then got peole like pulling us into the resturant or what de lor.. scary.. alot of ang mohs.. so who wan see, then go see hor... then we went to see a club where all the lesbians grouped together.. scary... really an eye-opener de lor.... y all gals are becouming like that sia.. sianzz...never see sooo many les be4.. most of them are really very successful in turning into one.....nothing more to type.. nite.. tc...

♥12:35 AM..Love
everyone was having mood swing.. haizz.. so many things happened... swee choo is having problems with bgr and yali is not in a good mood.. haizz... only that caiyu, she is so happy.. expected.. she is happy-go-lucky de.. but sometimes i can get really fed up with her de.. cos she tok irrelevant stuff de.. haizzz... then he sms me again.. he apologise to me... but i didn't reply him.. i am going to scream one of these days... don't ask me y... haizz... going to meet shan and min later in town.. long time nv see min le.. wonder had change.... even it is, it is expected.. dah..
♥1:13 PM..Love
toay is such a frustrating day... shit man... haizzz.... can't do anything also.. sianz man... went for cds just now.. it turned out fine... and yah.. i am very stressed... totally stressed about projects and choir stuff.. haizz... how... i wanna quit.. really i wan to.. but its like.. it is hard for me to tell my instructor... today i just conducted warm up.. and is only physical warm ups.. and i am already stressed.. the pressure is there.. and when albert said every week different sl conduct, i more stress... it is like.. i don't have the potential to lead.. and i scared i will go out of pitch.. people out there felt that i shouldn't be a leader.. it is not my perception... got people who can play piano better than me will haf more ego or those older than me.. they just can't accept me.. it is true... they felt that they should be the leader.. haizz... don't know lah... really difficult.. especially when standing in front of so many people... haizz... how... can someone tell me what to do? haizz.. and he had to add on to my pressure.. he sms me.. and i heed my friends' advice to ignore his sms.. but in the end, he send me another sms... argh......... why like that... i didn't reply him cos i don't want him to misunderstand that he still got chance.. i think it is impossible de.. he is not my type... haizzz... stress... scared he will ask me out.. and kevin wanna quit choir... stress.. no matter how hard we tried to pursuade him.. he is very firm with his ans : gt jonathan, then don't have him... haizz... what to do... he is a very good tenor, a very good bass, a very good leader.. really don't wanna lose a friend like him.. what motivate me to go choir is the people there.. they are really talented and i wanna learn from them.. and everytime after practices we will go have dinner or sit down and chat.. from school work to anything under the sun... it is fun.. and i really make alot of friends there.. i wan them to leave footprints behind and not just bid me good bye and thats it.. haizz... why everything had to go against me?? what i expected did not turn out.. sianzz.... everything just didn't go smoothly... and everyday i go to school, is because of friends.. i enjoy sitting down with yali, caiyu and swee choo, talking rubbish.. throwing everything aside.. especially projects... enjoy seeing yali tolerating caiyu ignorance and everything... swee choo teaching life lessons... and yah.. long time never hear her out le.. haizz... different class.... sianzz... everyone is going further away.. sometimes really hope this sem will never end.. cos i know, yali, caiyu and i may not be in the same class again.. and we will not be so close le... shit man... y got this stupid system... it seems like everything is not doing well... i wanna destress!!... really hate my life now.. sianzzz....
♥11:53 PM..Love
haizzz... FINALLY get a comp k.. haizz.. so many people in lab today.. all because of that choosing of cds.. haizz.. i choose le.. put two choice.. thankz zhen for helping me to sign up... my lab is full of people.. sianzz.. always like that de.. especially when the projects datedue are coming lor... haiz.. now waiting to die in cds.. so sianzz.. haizz.. dah...
♥3:10 PM..Love
haizzzz.... don't know what to choose for my cds.... think i try putting two choice only lor.. take or didn't take doesn't matter to me lor..early morning and here am i again.. at home blogging..sianzz mah... and i saw his blog... i think he had someone in mind le.. haizz... what to do.. i know this will happen sooner or later... but still, i really wanna run away from the facts... and i always been running away from reality.. his blog touched me.. it really set me thinking... he talk about his dad.. but i got nothing to say about my dad.. i just don't talk to him... and i just respect him as my dad.. if it is not him, i won't be here... this is the reason that i respect him.. nothing else i care.. if i am my mum, i already xiu le him... really... yesterday i made a number of phone calls and i realised mostly are from my choir de.. not bad... new friends are coming into my life le.. and really, they gave me really good advices.. thankz guys! anyway, yesterday kevin told me that she won't be coming for choir today! yeah...... great man.. don't wanna see her face... off to sch le...
♥7:43 AM..Love
haizz.. now in sch.. actually i also don't know why i still in school.. don't feel like going home leh.. luckily this comp got msn.. if not i go home also cannot play de.. bro at home liao... haizz...

today didn't take back any paper.. good lah.. won't have any disappointment... and today i am deciding whether to take up another cds or not.. haizz... sianzz.. i hate to make decision... what if i choose something that is veri difficult to pass de leh? haizz.. don't know lah.. see how lor.. i went to see alot of tutors today... even course manager aslo see le lor... like going for counselling like tht... haizz. and i burst out everything.. whatever i don't like about this system...everything.. haizz... don't know lah.. mood still not turning back.. especially when i tot of tomorrow lessoon.. cds again! and is two hrs tomorrow and going for choir tomorrow.. i don't know why now i am very scraed of going to choir lor... haizz... everyone is telling me to ignore her.. but it is really difficult.. really... haizzz.... don't know lah.. fan si le..
♥6:34 PM..Love
dragging myself out of my bed.. going to school in half an hour time... but don't feel like going.. can i don't go? haizz... have to attend my cds today.. and today is until 5pm.. really don't feel like going.. but becos of econs paper.. i will go... hope it is not an other disappointment lor... pls..... haizz.. actually i also don't know what to blog.. just feel sianzz.. read some of my friends' blog and i felt that everyone is getting further away from me.. no longer able to reach them... maybe some day i will just ring them up and give them a surprise... i am going to chase after my mbs tutor later.. haizz.. fri is the date due and he has not return me my project.. i can't get him... haizz... he is always on the run.. haizz... sianzz... now i was like doing slow motion... dragging here and there... haizz... i don't wanna go sch... don't know why all of a sudden i don't enjoy school le... haizz.. bu zhi dao lah.. really very confused these few days.. and apologise to those who i lost my temper to and those who i asked them not to talk to me de... i don't mean it.. sorrie..
♥8:36 AM..Love
haizz... what a day.. getting more and more unlucky lor... haizz... just realised that i keep scolding vulgar language in my blog... paiseh.. truly sorrie.. i don't mean it.. haizz... everyone was like shocked that i scold.. haizz.. nvm.. anyway, today went to century square to repair my phone.. it is giving me so much trouble.. haizz... and yali and i went to eat teppanyaki... my first time .. the person who is cooking is quite pro lor.. not bad.. quite nice lor.. didn't regret eating it.. and we were like asking ourselves whether is it those who qualified for the job need to have looks? don't know leh...

and went for choir just now.. haizz.. really wanna quit my job le... i don't know.. i felt that i dun haf the quality to teach and to lead... i don't know.. and is like she pissed me off again.. albert said he will talk to her.. i think she will say i complain again lah.. haizz... i also don't know wwhy i will break down just now.. haizz.. i better don't say le.. if not bad words all come out.. i only know i keep saying F for fish... actually is F*** lah.. but who cares.. i was like shouting when she left the room.. think she heard me.. heck lah.. haizz..

went to tampines for the second time in the day after choir... went for supper.. but i didn't eat.. just went to relax myself.. can't handle stress too well... haiz... and i brought a pair of earrings that i was eyeing since afternoon.. luckily not ex.. if not i also won't buy... haizz... argh.. getting fed up.. don't wanna elaborate much le..
♥11:07 PM..Love


great.. my dream piano..don't think will have a chance to own this...
♥9:02 PM..Love
damn. today is really a bad bad bad day... i am not in a very good mood..i just typed a long blog and it just said," this page cannot be displayed" damn... and now i had to retype..

i am now in the lab doing my cds assignment.. fed up. i nearly lost an unsaved document... my idiotic computer just hang (just can't a more suitable word to describe it..) i was on the verge of restarting the comp but luckily yali managed to anyhow click and it allowed me to save it... what is this?? what a f***ing day....

and to make it worse, i got back my accounts paper. it sucks man. i didn't do well. and it is just because of a stupid mistake and it made the whole account to be wrong.. shit.. i was quite disappointed when i got back my paper.. i really did know how to do... but this is the result i got.. it really bashed up my confident.. now i predict all my tests will fail.. no use aiming high.. i will just end up with disappointment.

sometimes i really wonder whether i choose the wrong course or not.. and yah, now is semester 2 and i am still regretting coming to poly... haizz... it i really stressing me up and i don't do well with all my tests. sucks. i just feel that this is not what i wanted in the future.. or am i just not cut out to be an accountant?? i really don't know what i want and what is wrong with me. everything just going opposite from what i want... shan always tell me that JC is worse.. is it really real? i really don't know.. damn.
♥5:33 PM..Love