haizzz... sianzzzz... what a word to start with...haizz... tomorrow going to school and i haven't do my tutorial.. lazy lah... getting lazier and lazier.. haha... bo bian.. just managed to do a draft for my cds assignments... it is a killer!! haizz... so difficult.. and had to think so long because the tutor wanna unique stuff.. and i must type out tomrorow... no time to waste... date due is just two daes away!! argh.... so fast... sianzz...
♥11:17 PM..Love
another group photo.. i had post some in my gallery...



♥11:01 AM..Love
finally know how to upload pics from my address liao... haizz.. tomorrow sch reopen but i still havent finish all my assignments.. sianzz... somemore take back results.. more sianzz.. haha... and the first paper i will take back is account.. jia lat.. dunno how i do... today went for a jog at bedok reservoir with my mother and brother... haizz... dun really wan to run de.. my fren last min called and said cannot make it.. then my mum was like waking my bro up to go running.. i was like falling asleep when my mum said: lets go!.... haizz... tired... woke up sso early.. bth... i was surprised that i didn't stop... it has been half a year since i went for a real jog... and my legs are like cramp liao.. haha... i dun think i can walk properly tomorrow... saw alot of people there.. sunday mah.. sianzz... and after running, i was like ssinging there and doin all the wwarm ups there... i really can't sing in the morning..haizz... anyway, i had been singing since i came home.. lolz... now go practice my piano.. busy hor? haha... dah...
♥10:43 AM..Love


a group photo taken after the concert.. will post up the others when i am free...
♥10:37 AM..Love
went for the singapore youth choir concert just now.. before that we went for dinner... we had a bitching session and had a good laugh from it... then we went for the concert.. it was great!! i gt a shocked when they started to sing.. omg... the sound was so rich and loud.. good projection... and it was perfectly in tune!! wow! imagine, the notes apart was so big but they still could get the correct pitching... best man... and the soloists were powerful.. really very good singers... i really didn't regret going for it... my first time choir concert and it was an eye-opening for me... they could get the exact pitching from the tuning fork which has only one note.. and they could sing with movements!! it is really difficult for a real singer to move here and there as they could get distracted easily and could go out of tune... and their voices blended! omg... both thumbs up for syc!!!

after listening to them.. i suddenly felt very emotional.. i am touched. i had been in choir from pri sch.. can sae i am in choir for at least 7 years.. did i really have a passion for singing or is it just because of cca? i had asked this question when i came out from the threatre.. ya i do have a passion for singing....but i don't sound as great as them.. my voice is really too far apart from them.. really. my voice is airy.. i don't deny it... and i am still not use to all kinds of tunes... yah, although syc members are older than me, but my voice is not half as stable as theirs, not as rich as theirs, not as loud as theirs...haizz..

i am going to buck up my singing from tomorrow onwards, i am going to be really committed and i am going to sing whenever i have the time.. i am going to work on my diaphram, i am going to control my air and of course, get all my notes in the right pitch. it is time for me to wake up. no joke..
♥1:43 AM..Love
just change my blog skin.. dunno what happened to my me to you bear blogskin... something is wrong.. but nvm.. this is nice too.. it is blue and it is so musical... going for the concert soon.. getting excited about it.. dah..
♥11:51 AM..Love
today is such a fucking dae.. if u are not really for any vulgur language, please don read this blog...

damn... she confronted me today... what is this?? am i a push over? she told me what my instructor told her that day... damn her... who does she thinks she is?? fucking bitch... nv see someone who is so thick skin before... wat the heck... anyway, i told her abt her prob and she still insist is my fault.. FINE!!! she said she just can't get my notes... and she told mi she dunno wat wrong wif her fucking attitude... where gt ppl dunno de????? kaozzz... i think even idiots will noe...

nvm, and she go on telling mi abt her singing in soprano two... wat the heck! she say she can't sing and it is very straining for her throat... fine! she was sooo happi to go there and now she was telling mi this.. pls lor! dun try to act lor! and she was telling mi abt her probation.. pls!!! i am not albert.. y u tell mi this for??? and pls! i am not in yr section leader anymore!! she is really making mi hoppin mad! and she told mi abt the probation... she said it is wasting her time.. pls lor, lets make it clear.. no matter wat, everyone will still haf to cum during this two mths for practices.. and she was telling mi the final exams was in one mth time! kaozz.. as if the whole world she is the onli one having exams! and as if she is the one struggling and putting effort!!! argh................................. pls fuck off with all yr lame excuses lor.. i really wanna quit my sl job already lor..

but ok, luckily he came.. the shuai ge... he came for the reunion dinner... and my frenz were like so loud and i think he heard us... so paiseh.. haha... but alright lah.. he makes my day.. and i think he notice our group... haha... cos my name sounded like his and my frenz were like keep calling my name...haha... quite funny... haha..
♥11:04 PM..Love
just came back from exercising... went to bedok reservoir for a run with zhen and quek.. but in the end, we ended up walking one whole run..haha... we were like talking all the way and time past real fast... haha... then we went to east coast to cycle.. fun... long time never cycle le.. then we saw ou xuan filming a wedding shoot... she is pretty.. but the weather is very hot and there is a person sheltering her using a umbrella.. sooo good.. haha... we were like tanning at the jetty.. but there is no effect on me.. haha... didn't become darker.. then we went to the beach... the waves was strong... and we started talking about geography... haha... the water was quite clean lor... *yawn* now come back le.. better go get a nap before i go for piano lesson...
♥2:16 PM..Love
today was great!!! haha... i managed to finish a essay for cds... i am left with two more.. haha.. jia you!!! and i was like turning the whole library upside down looking for those books on essays.... haizz.. but can't find it... i went up and down the stairs... i shall start my second last essay tomorrow..

and yah, i went for choir today.. we set up the notice board.. the background is very catchy!! cool man.. it is stripe and is in purple, black and white.. nice....great job ally! haha... and yah, today choir went well.. abit stressed (as expected), i learnt one new piece and the session is from 4 to 7 plus.. i think i need to rest my throat for a long time le... we are rushing to prepare for a mini concert.. and i hope it is held in the auditorium... hope we can make it.. but still a long way to go ya? and yah, i am going to talk about that girl again... haha... i am not back stabbing her, but just sharing my experience when working with her.. i don't care whether she will see this or not or she went to find my blog or what... i really can't tolerate anymore... maybe if she sees this, she can change her attitude so that we can like her...

she is officially in soprano 1.. she was going around and telling people she wanna go back alto.. pls lor, she always look down on altos.. not my perception.. she had told us before, she wanna be in soprano and wanna be a soloist.. (pls lor, with that voice..) and today soprano went sharper! i think the problem lies with her.. the members there were not very happy with her also... they told me she went off pitch.. and i can tell u that, soprano had always been very in tune and normally is alto who went off pitch.. and today alto is fine!! somehow i felt relieved that she is not here anymore.. she had always doubt my ability and doubt my pitching and whatever she can find fault with me lah! thankz god she is out of alto...yeah!! but i felt bad for soprano... it seems like she can be in nowhere... pls go to bass... lol... ok, i know i am being mean...

and after practice, we went to burger king for dinner.. and we supposed to leave early after eating.. but we were discussing about the time we are going to meet this sat for a concert... and we started gossiping about her! haha... and we took about an hour before we stopped... lol. we were all very excited and were making so much noise when gossiping.. haha... great. we click.. we really do.. lolz... shall not say much, shouldn't get the others to be in trouble.. she tried talking to me just now and i ignored her.. it is becos she told me she wanna be in alto again.. what a turn off! i shall not be hypocrite and therefore i ignore her...

anyway, enough of her.. pls don't appear in my dreams... haha... dah...


♥11:53 PM..Love
haizz.. woke up so early... thankz to my bro again!!! haizz... but nvm, i also have to get up early... have been going to school everyday although it is term break... going to school for choir later and i think today session will be very stressful... don't ask me why, i just feel that it will be very pressurizing... but now, i am going off to the library to do some research for my cds... and will accompany shan to study in the library.. great fren huh... hehehe.... actually i am bored at home.. if i stay at home, i will continue to slack and won't touch my cds assignment.. and the date due is coming.. omg.... just realized it is so near.... sianzzz... gotta rush now.. if not shan will keep ccalling and there goes my hp.. (break down) haha... :Pp
♥9:20 AM..Love
just came back from sch.. projects and projects.. i am sick of it... haizz... i not in very good mood when doing the project meeting.. and my mind is not there... not feeling well... the pain is a killer.. and i tried not to eat painkiller... haizz... don't feel like blogging today.. too many stuff to do also.. dah..
♥5:38 PM..Love
went to sch for project today.. do mbs project with yali.. and we were talking about our own 'william hung' and was like laughing so loudly in the library.. haha... we were also stressed about the project and i got the whole data mixed up..hehe... don't know how to do mah.... haizz... we didn't really get started on it... but ok lah..hehe.. quite fun.. after that i went to choir.. gt re-audition today.. i learnt alot of things from albert.. it is a must for the section leaders to learnt... and after the audition, i realized i can listen better and can also judge people using the techniques.. and yah! she sux man! she went out of pitch! and i am pissed off by her.. not only me, but also others... i mean out of pitch is not wrong, but, she is beyond cure! imagine, she can sing higher, but not her part! this totally contrasting! and albert had to put her in soprano 1! can sense that he also don't know what to do with her... dilema ya? the reason y she is sop 1 is not because she is a fantastic singer, it is because, she gt a right attitude towards singing and she can't sing lower, of cos haf to sing higher lah... so, she is under probation again... and she waas like going around saying: oh my god.. i can't sing sop 1.. as i had said, alot of members don't like her.. we somehow felt that she is seeking attention and yah, i am her SL, she asked me to teach her, but in the end, she turn to me and said, hey, you are not singing the correct one.. i am not trying to say i am correct or am i a good singer, but please, for goodness sick, i do check on my own pitching, i do check with my seniors, and i am sure that i know my part well! if i am wrong, please don't come and asked me next time.. she always insisted that she is right, she insisted on what she wants to do. but please nobody can keep spoon feeding her, and can't she sense that everyone have been very tolerating her nonsense? i really don't know should i pity her or not.. even if we tell her straight in her face that she is wrong, she will insist that she is perfectly in tune.. oh pls! she just don't have the self awareness on her own action.. the only sentence for her is, try harder to get our attention.. we won't be bothering about you anymore.. haha... after choir, we went for a piano and violin concert, it was a last min thing. the concert was nice! the pianist is really really great.. although i don't really know what was he playing, but i like the way he play the piano... i was thinking when can i get to that stage? *dreaming* i am impressed by the way he played, by the style and of course, how he expressed the notes.. a great musician.. really like the romantic period musician.. i am really inspired by him.. didn't regret going for it.. and oh yah, i saw sharon au.. she was tall.. i didn't know she was this tall..we went for dinner after that at the mac.. and kian hong was telling us about the nyp animation on tv mobile, never be someone, if not, when you wanna be yourself again, you can never be and you will regret.. one of his philosophy lah.. haha.. and yah, we did talk about her.. the tone deaf one... haha.. sound bad huh? but anyway, we all agreed with each other and we click... haha... i mean with the members who i went for dinner with lah.. haha... we were crapping after the meal... i reached home at twelve.. enjoyed myself.. but i haven't touch my cds assignment! nightmare...haizz.. sianzz... anyway, hApPi bDaE rOnaLD!!

my current favourite song..
"Say It Isn't So" by gareth gates

Skies are dark it's time for rain
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterdays
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow

How can I be smiling like before
When baby, you don't love me anymore

Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so

Ten to five atleast we tried
We're still alive but hope just died
As they close the door behind you
Whistle blows and tons of steel
Shake the ground beneath the wheels
As I wish I never found you

How can I be smiling when you're gone
Will I be strong enough to carry on

Miles and miles to go before I can say,
Before I can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh, darling oh
I got miles and miles to go
Before anyone will ever hear
Me laugh again
♥12:15 AM..Love
argh................ i can't stand him... y he sms me again... everytime i see his name in the inbox, it just makes me very stress..... please don't ask me why... i don't know.. what to do? i am confused. i don't know how to face him.. and i know the disaster is coming.. very soon. i have to come to a decision soon. should i give in or should i not? anyway, whatever is my decision, i will definitely regret it de lah... sianzzz...i just don't want him to carry any hopes on me. i am not a very good ger.. what the hell is happening??? it seems like after he saw me, he kept smsing me le... or am i too ssensitive? i don't know... my mum is still looking for a part time job.. i told her nvm lah.. but she said, nvm who let u eat? haizz, don't know lah, wanna say something nice to her but don't know what to say.. haha...and just now my mum and i was talking about relationship stuff, i asked her this: how old can a person have bf or gf? she said no age limit... first time i heard this from my mum... normally she won't really answer to the question... weird.. but nvm, even if she let, i won't want it.. maybe.... haizz... don't know.. how.... this can't go on... i hate this feeling.. one is enough for me to get troubled le.. it is enough.... i know it is unfair to him as i treat him like that... but i got no choice... he already knows how i feel but he still wanna carry on like this... why?? i don't understand.. i really don't.. haizz.. i don't want him to get hurt.....

one of my favourite song... 'Like A Rose'... sang by A1... yah, i know, this song is quite old le.. but it still remind me of something... i still remembered is san recommended me one.. in the past, everytime i went to her house i would ask her to repeat this song again and again... it's nice... haizz.. how i wish she is in sg now... san ah.. faster come back lah.... haizz... can't find 'everytime' yet... maybe continue my search later...

Like a rose
And as I look into your eyes
I see an angel in disguise
Sent from God above
For me to love
To hold and idolise

And as I hold your body near
I'll see this month through to a year
And then forever on
'Til life is gone
I'll keep your loving near

And now I've finally found my way
To lead me down this lonely road
All I have to do
Is follow you
To lighten off my load

You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so I can breathe
You open doors that close
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so I stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose

And when I feel like hope is gone
You give me strength to carry on
Each time I look at you
There's something new
To keep our loving strong

I hear you whisper in my ear
All of the words I long to hear
Of how you'll always be
Here next to me
To wipe away my tears


♥10:12 PM..Love
haizz.. now in zhen's house.. actually wanna help her with her dreamweaver project.. but i forgt how to do le.. lol. haha... end up i blogging... haha... sianzz mah... and i found this pic... Summer Scent!!! so nice.. haizz.. feel like buying the vcd... i wanna see this show.. it is show on scv, but i don't have it... sianzzz.



heard from zhen the show is nice... and the songs are nice too!! haha... must see! must hear! haha...
♥3:32 PM..Love
time flies real fast... what a day.. tired although didn't do much today... went to buy fish food for my brother's precious tiger fish. have been slacking everyday.. haven't even touch my cds assignment. jia lat.. really got no idea how to start. when i was talking to shan on the phone just now, i realised that quek and zhen really give in to me alot yesterday.. haha... i thnk so lah.. they tried to please me.. i can sense it.. when they wanna go to the shop, and i suddenly said i am hungry, they said eat first.. and they really tried to cheer me up.. thankz alot... shan said i think too much... i agreed. that is me.. can't change it.. sianzz... haha... watching waterboys.. their perservance really touched me.. but of course, they are actors... it is not real...haha...
♥11:37 PM..Love


cool sia... finally get a full photo of them... just watch a special epsiode of naruto... nice!


♥11:20 AM..Love

♥12:56 AM..Love
today really shouldn't have go out. it was just a bad day... firstly, before i went out, my mum told me that she has been fired. and it was because someone accused her of stealing money.. pls lor! we are poor.. but we won't steal de lor! my mum has to pay everything.. even now she is paying my piano fees and sometimes she cannot pay, she even ask me to quit.. but i just say soon, soon.... as i really don't wish to drop it... what to do? just felt very upset about what happened to my mum... the stupid boss.. don't trust people then go put a video camera there! and if don't trust people, then don't ask humans to work for her! bloody bitch! damn. nearly wanna go confront that bitch just now. but luckily, quek reached just in time.life is just so unfair. when everything started to pick up, it just start crushing down... nevermind. don't wish to elaborate on it anymore.. totally s****... it just spoilt my mood.. but i tried to cheer up as i can't vent my anger on my friends right? but still, my mind still wonder.. some of their words just can't get into my mind. quek, zhen and i went to bishan, then causeway point and IMM... because we are sick of the east and town so we decided to change a new environment to shop...and i will NOT go there again.. i have never like west and the north side... for those living there and reading this, i don't mean any harm. i just don't like the air there. maybe just my perception? harotyping perception.. haha... i think yali will go mad if she see this word ya?haha... it is my first time shopping there.. and i had a very bad experience.. he saw me!!! but i didn't see him... didn't know that it can be so 'qiao' one.. and it just curious me why he is there.. i mean, i am at basement and he is rushing for work.. i was totally stunned. my friends can see my face totally changed lor.. haizz.. he even said he will ask me out again.... what to do? i have been caught red handed.. and this is not the end of disaster. a few kids were running around in the mrt and they really pissed me off. their parents just don't care about them. when we moved to the other cabin, they followed. they were just too noisy. i was hoping that they don't alight with us at the same station. but unfortunately, they did. HAIZ.... we kept seeing them at the shopping centre and yah, so coincidently, they also left the place at the same time as we did.. g-r-e-a-t. totally shocked. what i wished for was totally opposite! even if i buy 4D also won't be so 'qiao'........ i just couldn't stand it. but we were clever. we choose the mrt which go opposite their direction... i just don't wanna see them... i don't mind quiet kids... but too bad, they are not. i didn't buy anything.. zhen brought a spag while quek brought slippers.. maybe next time ya? during our way home, we were talking about guys.. zhen say definitely attached has more advantages.. is it? and yah, three of us agreed that all guys use the same techiques to woo girls... they just wanna get girls. and i saw a baby girl on mrt. quite cute.. she is so different from other bby girls.. she is wearing blue, not pink.. her dad gt a very bad attitude... he looks violent. we all agreed this point, the way he treated his twins daughters... bad.... i noticed all guys carrying babies in a very awkward manner... weird.. they just not cut out for the job? just wondering...
♥10:05 PM..Love
Don't be too good I will miss you.

Don't be too caring, I might like you.

Don't be too Sweet, I might fall for you.

It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after
all...

Bottom-line : A person who makes me love him is actually a
person who loves me more than I love him.

________________x________________________x_____________

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you
but for

some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much... Just
be glad

that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even
for a while.

Bottom-line : Time will tell. If he's yours he will surely
come back.

________________x________________________x__________

Don't throw your back to love when it's already in front of
you.

Don't drive it away from you because if you do, someday
you'll think

again why you let love fly away when it was once residing
next to you.

Bottom-line : Treasure the one who loves you! It's not easy
to find

a person who loves you. It's always more valuable to have a
sincere

heart.

________________x________________________x_____________

The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not
take.

If you think something will make you. happy, GO FOR IT.
Remember that we pass this way only once.

Bottom-line : Time doesn't wait. If you think you might
have found the right one, treasure the person, don't let that
person get away.

Don't let fear hold You back. Give it a try else you might
regret later... "No one other than ourselves know what can
truly make us happy."

________________x________________________x_____________

Two tear drops were floating down the river.

One teardrop said to the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl
who

loved a man and lost him. Who are you?" ..."I'm the
teardrop of the

man who regrets letting a girl go..."

Bottom-line : Nobody will sympathize with a person who
constantly

lets chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage
them. We

normally don't realize how important our loved and close
ones are

until they leave us, and then we start regretting, which
results in

misery. Lost time is NEVER gained again



♥8:49 AM..Love
just finished helping cheryl to do her blog.. don't know can or not..
wanna blog about one topic : love. love really hurts. ya i know, i am back to the same old topic, but why do people wanna pursue it when they know it hurts? i think i am the most foolish person to think that once a guy starts to treat me good, i will fall for him eventually.. this happens to me several times.. i just don't learn my lessons. what he said about his gf is like what he said to me before.. is this how guys pamper girls? is it the true side of them? or they just left you alone once you say no to them? i really don't know.. it just makes me feel this way... i am really writing a very ridiculous blog.. nevermind about me...
♥1:16 AM..Love
just change my background music... hmm.. should i put collin raye love me or canon in d??? someone please tell me... haha... i can't decide.. today i finally get to sleep until 10am.. actually i expected myself to sleep longer leh.. haizz.. and i went downstairs to buy breakfast.. just realized some shops have closed down... wow.. have been months since i went there... serious! and my brother has returned his friend the hitler vcd... aww.... i haven't even get the chance to see it... but saw some parts lah.. nice! very real... and the vcd has 3 discs.. quite worth it lah..
♥12:23 PM..Love
yeah!!! mid sem tests over le... whew.... now is waiting for results.. sianzz... but that one is one week later lah.. haha... haizz.. now must stress about projects... just realised that there are tons of projects. haiz.. and today econs paper is alright.. i think this is the best paper so far.. heng ah.. after test, went for lunch with yali, caiyu and swee choo at tampines. swee choo was telling us about her three encounters with those who plunged for death... sooo gross.... death. after listening to her, i was afraid of it. it was so painful and what if u failed to kill yourself? it will be a burden for everyone... after that, yali and i went to walk walk at TM. wanna watch movie but it seems like there was no interesting movie. we went to taka neocard instead. first time took with her wor.. haha... haizz.. just realized that i can't go for the choir reunion dinner as it falls on fri. haizz.. gt piano lesson.. felt like going for it as it will show the video about the concert.. and tomorrow i will sleep until whatever time i can.. haha... these few days did not sleep well.. must recover my beauty sleep. hehe...
♥7:26 PM..Love
OH MY GOD!!! that mbs paper is really **** to the core man!!! i can't do a thing! multiple choice i anyhow choose and the stupid 'short' answer questions are soooo chim!!! what the heck! my tutor said is short answers questions but they are not! the worst is, they phrased the questions in such a way that i don't know whether is my english sooo lousy or the problem lies with the paper... shit man.. shouldn't have tried so hard last night to studied until 3+ ! regret.... haizz... studied like didn't study like that.. siao de... and i nearly got barred for the exam... cos i wearing slippers.. first time wearing slippers for exams and this happened. don't know should i count myself as lucky or not... haizz... but the examiner let me in.. but also no use lah... go there and stared at the paper for 1hr... haizz... and yest he sms me again... and yes, is a hand made sms... haizz... these few days he keep smsing me.. and now i realize that the term break is coming.. shit man.. haizz... i not very happy when holidays are coming.. something sure happen de... haizz.. tomorrow is econs paper... SURE can't pass de... cos i don't understand a thing.. and who the hell said that microecons is easier than macroecons???? i going to skin that person ALIVE... haha.... dah...
♥1:33 PM..Love
what a day..... two tests today and it is a gone for my organisational behaviour test..... i lost 14 marks!! shit man.... the case study is about william hung!! oh please.. can someone please stop talking about him?? i admit he doesn't sing well, but y keep bringing him out?? he is just a normal person what.. aiyo... BTH... and i wrote in my paper idol as idiot... great! haizz... then my business stats, don't know correct or not, open book test also no use... haizz.. what is this??? quick.. term break pls come... when we were sitting at the bench, we didn't manage to see any shuai ges.. and that caiyu really set me thinking when she say this to me: u say people not shuai...u think u pretty meh? something like that.. haizz.. true lah... i thought i said that just for leisure but i didn't know that it can affect my thoughts.. caiyu really wake me up.. k, i shall stop saying about others.. shuai then say.. haizz... and today yali showed me the vdae card that guy gave... say until like he wanted her to be touched like that cos it is delivered PERSONALLY.. this is what he wrote... and he didn't even tear out the price tag!!! $5.60! OMG... what a guy... and i was like laughing soo loud in the library! haha... and i saw him!! haha... so excited when i saw him.. hehe.. and that yali is getting real good at spotting guys.. haha... she is the one who sound me out just now if not i will have missed him! heng ah... haha... wonder how many caps he has... nowadays i keep seeing him with cap.. haha.. k lah, go study again.. and i predict that i will not be getting any sleep today... MBS.. i hate this sub! sianzz...
♥8:54 PM..Love
just came back from school......... whew.... thankz god tht my accounting paper was not that difficult.... hope i can do well.... but just found out i gt stupid careless mistake... argh! nevermind... hope can do well for all my papers... hehe.. pray once is never enough.. what am i talkinG?? haha.... nvm... today didn't manage to see him...its ok...used to it le..haha...crushes are always like that de.. but still, maybe i will meet him in school tomorrow???hehe... just hoping.. tomorrow got two papers... sIAnZ... yesterday M sms me.. asked me how i pass Vdae...how come he still can remember me?? i treat him real cold everytime he sms me.. sound so bad huh.. but don't know leh.. haizz... always regretting what i did ya?haha... true... go study le... dah...
♥1:11 PM..Love
haizzz... what to do... tomorrow accounting test and here am i.. bored to death...sianzzz... just can't get the notes into my mind..haizz... it is another normal day..haha.. anyway, just went to view his blog.. hehe... glad to know that he spend yesterday with his friends and not gf...ehehee....was telling yali that he will get a shocked when he saw how fast his blog's counter had jumped...hahaa... i think some of u know who am i talking about..haha... nvm.. i enjoy reading his blog..ahaha... shh... :pPp i wish myself best of luck for the mid sem tests... *pray*
♥1:18 PM..Love
hohoho... valentine day and here am i, stucked at home trying to figure out my stupid probability..haha.... i give up le... cannot make it lah.. although it will be an open book test, but the lecturer say : don't expect an easy paper... haizz.. sianzz.... don't think i will do well lah.. my mum brought a cake for my bro and sher... and i will be eating too... haizz.. jia lat..yesterday just ate a cheesecake and today, coffee cake....die ah..... FAT... haha... think most of my friends are outside celebrating..great.. don't wanna see any couples today.. it will just break my heart.. haha... hmm.. wonder who he is spending today with...
♥2:17 PM..Love
heh heh.... guess what??? i just saw him! haha.. about to give up hope when he suddenly appeared in front of me! haha.. first time in this week! sooo HAppI! hehehe.... still as cute as ever.... how i wish i know him... haha... oh my god.. starting to dream again..haha... anyway, waiting for that shan to arrive at tp.... so wols!!! haizz...hahaha... really happi...
♥4:03 PM..Love
now in lab for mbs... jus cum to sch for this two hrs... its a killer!!! but luckily got a computer in front of me.. if not i will not come to sch! it is so happening in sch todaY! alot of secondary sch students wor... haha... open house mah... and later shan will be coming for fun..haha.. too eng le... just now saw da xiong in the bus.. haha... happy! but i still haven't see who i wanna see.. haizz.. and the business studies club is giving out heart shaped balloons.. veri cute de leh... but find it weird goin around with it.. haizz.. and swee choo is so sweet... she brought cakes for us! and she brought my favourite- cHeeSEcakE!!! come to think of it.. i didn't buy anything for her leh.. guilty... haha... luckily gt friends around me.. if not how am i going to survive for today?? saw alot of couples on my way to sch! and the guy besides me brought soo many roses! Oh my god.... so sweet... if me i will be touched... haha... but too bad... dreamzzz....haha... tomorrow will be staying at home wor.. no date.. this is going to be *counting* i think is the fourth years i am going to celebrate it alone... but anyway, HaPpY vALentINe DaY to AlL!!
♥1:10 PM..Love
haizzz..... sianz ah!! know what... todae i went to see the light years cast.. and i was standing soo in front!! first time sia! haaha... then i went to take the autograph... but who knows??? i left the signed poster on the floor with my bag, and the next moment i know, the poster is gone~~~ wonder is it people took it or wind blew it away... sad ah...if fly away then forget it lor.. if is people took it, i curse the person who took it ah!! haha... haizz... first time queue up for it and haven't even really see the signature lor! haizz... sianzz.. then ally gif me a vdae souvenir is on the poster and is gone also lor...haizz... so sad... then just now quarrelled wif my younger bro.. so sick... although he is the youngest, but can't be asking me to give in to him everytime.. right?? it is so unfair! and in the end i got a scolding from my mum..what is this sia...haizz... nevermind, i heck.. anyway, todae cds finally over le.. i acted out the skit and i gt tongue tied! haha... too bad.. but i can say i improve le lah.. more daring to speak up.. but it also depends on my mood de.. and today yali was sooo happy, she saw who she wanna see! haha... but not me.. i don't think today he got class leh... going to be friday and i haven't see him...sianzz...quick.. miracles please happen..haha....
♥9:35 PM..Love
todae zhen bdae... happi birthdae!!! hahaha.... jus now go celebrate wif her... we go buy her present then go take neoprint... then go eat at PS... quite fun lor.. cos so long nv go out le... yeah!! haha.... she received alot of presents... i am like so envious lor.... if my bdae gt half of hers i happi le... so many ppl wish her... but too bad... my bdae is in holidae... sad~~ wat i wear todae is really not like mi... when i go sch.. everyone was like shocked... i think tht means ugly..haha... dunno leh... i cant be pretty de lah..hahaha... shan they all sae i zhang da le... they said sometimes really must doll up...haizz... but wat i wear todae is really once in a blue moon de... when i look at myself in the mirror i also find myself weird le.. wonder how others think of mi.... but nvm, it is still the same old mi...haizz.. heard tht the encore audition of willaim hung will be aired on ch 5 on sun 6pm.. dunno real or not... hahaha.... so many ppl support him.. dunno whether to praise him or not..haha... tomorrow gt cds... really regret for not signin up for open house... sianzz.. hope wont have any presentation or wat.. dah...
♥12:08 AM..Love
finally my comp is back to normal... i really scared that one day my comp black out.. what if i am rushing for my project? it will be nightmare.. whew.. luckily i have finished typing my project le.. *clapped* heehee... i got back my accounting test paper... just managed to pass it. sianzzz... when i saw my test paper, abit sad because most of my classmates gt quite high marks for it.. i think i am the lowest... i am really so stupid... what is the use of being hardworking?? sianzz... ok, enough of complaining.. if not i really will go on and on... i saw a pair of earrings selling at the cart outside business school. NICE!! i want to buy it tomorrow.. today did not bring money to school.. mum did not give me.. sad..... haha... but ok lah.. gt atm in school.. just lazy to go and line up! haha..
♥7:09 PM..Love
i can't get to sleep. 3am!! i really don't know what is wrong with me these few days.. i just finished writing my journal entries and i was thinking of so many things. i was getting abit too emotional just now when i was writing my journal.. what is wrong?? i seems to be running away from life.. i was trying to convince myself about something but it just didn't work out. i can't be left alone, if not, my mind will be difted away and those stupid thoughts will come into my mind again.. shit man!! and that day M sms me, i felt abit irritated. but when he did not sms me, i felt disappointed. Am i running away frm him? i have been running away from alot of things, people, studies... and love. those i like don't like me while those i don't like, likes me.. what is this?? i hate people coming up and ask me about how are things between him and me. i don't know how answer them. my mind and my actions just cannot coordinate and the worst is i have been regretting what i had done. they seems to be like strangers to me now... or rather more to those helo and bye friends. argh!! i just wanna concentrate on my studies and don't wanna think of anything else. i have been trying very hard to focus during lectures but i always end up day dreaming, drawing on my notes... yali had to try so hard to bring me back to reality. i think she will stop talking to me soon as i always make her repeat what she had just said to me.. i felt so bad. i did not do it on purpose. i must always remember this: what is done cannot be undone....
♥2:48 AM..Love
concert finally over... quite fun.. my instructor last minute told us to stand beside someone who is not frm yr part one.. and i was like totally stunned, cos we didnt try this be4 and we did not rehearsal it.. but all went well, except tht we sang too fast.. really like a train..haha... after tht, we went for supper at long john.. kevin and henry was toking abt the NS stuff.. ghostly encounters...haha... quite scary.. think is real lah.. really enjoyed myself.. so fun.. haizz.. but now must concentrate on studies. no more fooling around.. but somehow i felt tht no matter wat i do, i jus could not make it during exams.. i am jus hardworking but not smart. Imagine, i do all my tutorials and study for my tests, but i do not do well in my tests, which led to disappointment.. but i will try.. dunno y i could not post messages in the tag board. Nvm.. dah...
♥9:40 AM..Love
soooo tired.... jus now rehearsal until so late... then gt accounting test jus now... i all dunno how to do!! argh... fed up... when goin to take the test le, i was sooo nervous tht i forgt everything i learn.... shit man... wat am i thinkin??? i really dunno... these few daes my frenz have to call my name twice be4 i could ans them... not tht i dun wanna ans.. its jus tht my mind was jus not wif mi... not in the mood to study... wonder how i am i goin to take exams... sianzz... then the tag board dunno wat happen... cannot post... HAIZZ.... sianzzz ah.... the concert is cuming!!... abit nervous le...haha...jus hope tht wont go flat can le.. haha... hope everything goes well.... *pray*
♥12:25 AM..Love
jus now i was discussing this topic wif yali in the toilet... haha... wat a fine place to tok abt this.... wher will we go after we die?haha.... suddenly this question strike us... no one knows.. unless u die once le lah... haha... and when u finally know wher r u, u are not able to share wif the others... life. sometimes really wanna go jus like tht... being a human is so tedious... so tired of my life le...
saw him jus now.... abit paiseh, but alright lah...i am not sad anymore... i am convinced tht i havent meet the one yet... haha... so tired... yesterdae do zhen's proposal until so late.. see her so stress up so try to help her lor..haha... and tht zell is injured, heard tht his leg is soooo swollen until dunno like wat...hahaha.... and still wanna play basketball...nv see him todae, if not i go and step his foot liao..haha... goin for choir later... felt guilty for not goin cos of test... and alot of ppl wont be turning up...scared albert will be angry also.. sat is the concert le and still takin it so lightly... but really no confident in tomorrow accounting test... sianzzz...haizz... hope can pass can le...not much expectations... dah...
♥2:53 PM..Love
finally get to online... haizz... so busy... keep having a headache on one side... dunno y leh... maybe not enough sleep lor.. yest reach home around 12 midnight... come home still must prepare the presentation stuff... TIRED... gt rehearsal mah..but didnt expect to be tht long... i am getting use to performing on stage i think... didnt shiver leh... find it weird.. haha... yesterdae got quite emotional during choir when i listened to Canon in D.. dunno y also... scared my senoirs..haha... but ok lah.. tot it through le... i will be happi de... no point keep thinkin abt it... i had accepted the truth le.. i am back to normal le!!todae ah... gt presentation... i forgt my speech!! and i said peter bell to peter pan!! haha.... and the whole class was laughing..haha... so paiseh... Concert cuming... veri excited!! this will be my first real concert in tp!! in audit leh... haha... choir is getting better in singing le...hehe... todae yali abit mad mad de.. and she drank ice mocha wif ice cream... forgt to ask her how it taste like... she didnt sae not nice leh.. but the ice cream in the mocha veri weird leh... abit disgusting lah... haha.... i didnt write zhen's letter and she was 'suaning' mi all the way..haha... must remember to write her letter leh... and WILL write alot de...haha... (like real) :PpP k lah, go eat le... dah....
♥7:52 PM..Love
haizz.. still feeling the same... i try to bury myself in doin those tutorials... so sianzz... dun feel like goin to sch tomorrow.... can i? but at home is worse... keep thinking negatively does not help at all... still haf to pretend to be happi at home so tht my mum wont question mi..... life is so boring... y no miracles happen ah?? jus now doin my journal entry for my cds, felt so sad... jus realised tht there is no happy event in it... i think my tutor will be moody after readin it...
♥9:10 PM..Love
i haf been traumatized again.. kinda disappointed when i heard the news...i was quite fake. trying to bluff through my way.. maybe fate was not wif mi... wanna do tutorial but dunno y i can't write anything...i couldn't sleep yest and i called shan for a chat.. or rather, to 'wake' mi up frm my thinkin.... when i tok to her.. i dunno wat's wrong wif mi... full of emotions and wanna break down.. it has been a long time since i felt this way.. it hurts... i felt so terrible when bluffing... wat shan sae is quite true.. ' no pt running away frm it.. u will haf to face it sooner or later..' i jus expected too much le... i can't go on like this.... i mus be strong... wat for troubled over something tht is impossible?? i mus get it off my mind... time will heal.. i am having a severe headache.... it's killing mi....haizz... wat's the worst i can expect?? i really can't take another blow.. really... feel like dying...
♥10:12 PM..Love